Morning Sun
by runyoucleverboy-remember
Summary: Sequel to Take Me Home: Clara and the Doctor are living out their lives together and trying out lots of new adventures along the way. Rated T for swearing. Whoufflé AU
1. Old Times Past

**So...sequel! This is going to be about the life they lead. Won't be as long as take me home I don't think but should be good! **

**My phone thought it'd be fun to stop receiving emails from . In fact my entire gmail so I didn't realise I'd got loads of reviews until two days later. I'd been a little upset that no-one had read it and then I realised that I should probably check it :/ But THANK YOU to you guys who reviewed! **

**Still rated M because I might put in smut or stuff if you want me to later? That's your choice to be honest. **

**If I don't update every day it's because I am ridiculously busy at the moment. But it shouldn't be a problem.**

**Should I still do songs? Hmm, I don't think I will because the rest of the music I listen to is all musicals and you saw a glimpse of my horrendous music taste!**

**Enjoy the story!**

* * *

"Doctor, come on! I'm not a child!" Clara moaned, attempting to swat at his arm.

"But this is a surprise! Just a few more steps." He replied into her ear.

At present, they were walking up steps with one of the Doctor's bow-ties wrapped around Clara's eyes. He had put it on as she got in the car after work. When they'd reached their destination, he'd taken her hand and lead her up these stairs. She was more than confused and really wanted her sight back.

"Come on, one step." The Doctor spoke into her ear. "And one minute!"

Clara tutted under her breath, grateful to be standing still for a moment. She heard a key turning in a lock.

"Doctor, what the hell are you doing?" She half-shouted. She only heard a cheeky laugh in reply. Her hand was then tugged and she stepped inside a slightly warmer place than outside.

She stood still, waiting. She felt the Doctor's hands cup her cheeks. He planted a small kip on her lips, not moving away after. He lightly bit her bottom lip, causing Clara to quietly moan. Although she couldn't see, she was enjoying the moment between them. She felt like it ended too soon as he pulled back and removed the bow tie from her head.

It took a short while for her eyes to adjust to the light. She instantly recognised where she was, even though it was a lot emptier than when she last saw it. She gasped as tears filled to her eyes. She noticed the Doctor staring at her but her eyes couldn't leave the scene around them.

Clara looked to the corner in which the washing machine and dryer once lived. She laughed at the memory of the Doctor trying to use it the first time they had met. She moved her eyes to where the sofa used to be, smiling in fondness at the memory of her first Christmas Eve with the Doctor. She didn't even realise a tear had run down her cheek until the Doctor wiped it off with his sleeve. He stood in front of her and kissed her once more.

"Doctor, why are we here?" she whispered, looking up into his eyes.

"Clara." He replied. "This is the place where all our firsts happened. It means everything to me. I bought this place a few years back when the company got successful. It's small but I don't care. It was perfect for us." He turned silent for a little while.

"Doctor, I still don't understand..."

"Clara Oswald." He took her left hand in his and caressed it. "I love you. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. My life was empty before you walked into it. No, screw that. My life was _nothing_ before you came into it because you _are_ my life."

Still holding her hand, he knelt down on the ground and her mouth opened, eyes widening.

"Today is exactly ten years since that day. I would have done this on the spot back then if I wouldn't have seemed completely insane. I don't know why the hell I waited so long to do this. I don't want to ever wait again. I want you to be with me for the rest of our lives. Our life, together."

He pulled a red box out of his pocket and opened it, presenting a ring. It sparkled in the dim lights. Clara gasped, unsure of how many diamonds were on it and how much it was worth.

"I will love you for the rest of time. Clara Oswald, will you marry me?"

Clara's smiled through her tears and nodded her head. "Yes. Always."

He laughed to himself for a moment before slipping the ring on her finger. He stood up, pulling her into a deep and passionate kiss. She couldn't believe she was engaged to the man of her dreams. Still deep in the kiss, he pushed her back against the door, locking it at the same time. She was barely taking in her surroundings, only the man in front of her. He lifted her up slightly so she could wrap his legs around him. Every movement made the other laugh and smile at each other. They were drugged on love and nothing in the world around them could take this moment away from them.

* * *

Clara stroked the Doctor's chest as she looked up at her sleeping husband. The past day had been so exhausting, but perfect. She'd felt beautiful in the dress she'd worn. It was strapless and came out at the bottom. There were jewels all over it and her hair had been up in a bun with two loose strands of hair hanging by her cheeks. Her Dad had walked her down the aisle. Everyone she loved was there and it was amazing. But nothing was more amazing than seeing the Doctor reach his hand out for her to take, so they could stand facing each other, ready to face the world. When they had said their names, the Doctor had to legally say John Smith, to many people's amusement, but Clara knew better. She whispered his true name in his ear causing tears to spring to his eyes, which he rapidly blinked back. When the ceremony was over, he'd kissed her with so much passion and love. It was a confirmation that they now belonged to each other and would never let go.

They danced at the reception for a few hours, before they both got changed and the Doctor took Clara to the airport. Once there, she discovered that they would be going on a world tour. He was taking her to see some of the wonders of the world. Starting with Rhodes, to see what remains of the colossus. After five days they were to be going to Alaska so they could get a glimpse of the Northern Lights. From there they were to go to a few more destinations before coming home.

The Doctor stirred and slowly opened his eyes to see Clara gazing up at him.

"Hey, beautiful." He murmured, planting a kiss on her forehead and then her lips. She brought her hands up to his face so she could deepen the kiss. She opened her mouth to allow the Doctor access, causing an appreciative moan from him. As the kiss started to get more heated, the Doctor pulled away.

"Clara, if we carry on like this, we'll never get out of bed," he chuckled.

"Then let's not." She murmured against his lips, grasping his hair and pulled him onto her. They both giggled as they lost themselves in each other.


	2. Came Back With Force

**Second chapter! I have to say, I got 15 follows for this story in 3 hours. THANK YOU!**

**I think this chapter is a little rushed but I hope it's okay. **

**Thank you Lunawing610, Loverly Souris, Fortunecookie99 and -Tano for your gorgeous reviews!**

**Enjoy the chapter Muahahaha ;3**

* * *

"Where's your nose?" Clara cried to the infant in her lap. She was laughing and pinching the child's nose, making him giggle.

Rose had come over with David after the Doctor and Clara got back from their honeymoon. Clara had discovered, when she'd got back to work, that The two were now married and with a baby boy called Lewis. It seemed so rushed in Clara's mind, but when she figured it out she realised that it really wasn't at all.

The Doctor sat on the sofa, chatting with David and Rose absentmindedly. But he couldn't take his eyes off Clara. She was getting along so well with baby Lewis. It was obvious the child adored her and she felt like she could spend hours wasting her time, just laughing with the child. She loved children more than anything. She had a god-family who'd she'd occasionally babysat as a teenager and everyone said she was very good with them. She'd even considered opening up a day-care once or twice in her life.

It was clear that Clara loved playing with Lewis, but it concerned the Doctor when he saw her look away for a brief moment with a look of sadness and fear in her eyes. If he hadn't been observing her so closely, he wouldn't have noticed it. It was only a slight glimpse, but it worried the Doctor. He never wanted Clara to be unhappy and it took his mind completely off everything except her.

He only realised he was completely staring at Clara when she turned around and snapped her fingers twice at him.

"Hey, chinboy! They've said your name about four times now! Keep your eyes to yourself." she stuck her tongue out at him and he snapped back to reality.

"Oh, oh sorry!" He stuttered. Clara bit her lip to stop herself from laughing at him. He couldn't help but appreciate how her dimples came out so prominently when she did that. He could swear he'd never seen anything more adorable in his life.

Although, if Clara ever caught the Doctor saying she was adorable, she would hit him. She's much prefer to be called beautiful and sexy, which she still was, but adorable at the same time.

She was back now bouncing the child up and down in her knees and kissing his cheek every few seconds.

When David went to make some tea, Rose sat down next to him.

"She's really good with kids, isn't she?" Their eyes were both focused on Clara who was oblivious to the conversation.

"She's amazing with them." The Doctor replied, dazed.

"I think I might need to be careful. I might find Lewis is still here when we leave later. Unless you plan on having one of your own anytime soon?" Rose laughed at the Doctor and nudged his arm. He laughed slightly but was still lost in thought.

"I don't know." The Doctor whispered.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked, suddenly concerned. She tried to face the Doctor but he stood up abruptly.

"I'm going to help David make the tea. He probably doesn't know where anything is." He walked through to the kitchen, Rose following behind him.

* * *

Once teas had been made and handed out, Rose cornered the Doctor. She made sure it was in the kitchen when they were alone.

"What did you mean earlier?" Rose looked very confused and worried.

"Rose, drop it." He murmured.

"No. It's obvious Clara wants kids and a family. And let's face it, you're not getting any younger." The Doctor laughed for a second but then realised that Rose was being very serious. "Isn't that what you want?"

"Rose." He whispered, looking to the doorway to check Clara couldn't hear. "I want it more than anything. But I don't think I can have that."

"Don't be so..."

"Rose, I wouldn't be a good father." The Doctor turned away from her and leaned on the counter. "All I've ever known is hate in my life. How can I raise a child in love when all I've ever learnt is hate? I won't do that to a child. I don't want them living in a world of war."

"Doctor, things are different now. Times have changed..."

"But I'm not different." Rose didn't know about the Doctor's past, but from what she'd gathered, it wasn't good. "Not yet anyway."

Rose sipped some of her tea. "I just think you're making any excuse up right now. Admit it, you're scared."

"Rose, I'm not scared."

"Then whatever the hell this is, fix it. Because you're going to break that poor girl's heart."

She stormed off out of the kitchen to talk to David and Clara, leaving the Doctor to himself. Why didn't he want children? He couldn't figure it out. All he'd ever wanted was a family with Clara, but now he just felt like he couldn't do it. It wasn't nerves. He couldn't explain it to himself, let alone Clara.

Little did the Doctor know that Clara had heard most of the conversation. Her fears had come true and now she was scared. She was so, so scared and didn't know what to do.

* * *

"Clara, are you okay?" The Doctor asked her that night, after she'd tossed and turned in bed for hours before getting up several times and sitting in the bathroom.

"I'm fine. Just tired." She whispered. Never had she been so grateful that she maintained her composure. Not a single break in her voice. What the Doctor hadn't seen was the tears silently streaming down Clara's face. She didn't know how to tell him. How could she tell him that she could potentially ruin his life?

"Clara?"

"Yeah?" She hadn't been expecting him to speak again and her voice slightly cracked.

"Clara I was...Clara, are you okay?" He instinctively turned her to face him and saw her tear stained cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumb but she swatted his arm away. "Clara what's wrong?"

She sniffled for a moment before pulling back the covers and running out bed. She was wearing one of the Doctor's shirt and her underwear.

"You know what? Nothing. Nothing is fucking wrong, okay?" She grabbed a pair of jeans and slipped them on as quick as she could. The Doctor barely had time to process what was going on.

"Clara..."

"Stop it!" The Doctor tried to get out of bed but she held up her hand to tell him to stop. "Could you just stop saying Clara! I'm sick of it!"

He couldn't understand what on earth can brought on this outburst.

She picked up her keys of the dresser and ran towards the door. He got out of bed and chased her through to the living room.

"Wait! What's wrong?" He cried.

"Leave me alone!" She cried, tears evidently running down her cheeks. She opened the front door and ran outside.

"Clara, it's not safe at night. Please, come back!" He pleaded, but she was already gone.

* * *

She ran to her car and turned on the ignition. She didn't know where she was going. Just anywhere she could think. Anywhere away from the Doctor.

Because Clara Oswald had a choice to make. But this time, it wasn't just for her. It was also for the tiny life-form currently growing inside of her.

All she knew was that the Doctor didn't want a baby and they were having one, well that's what she thought she knew anyway. She had to protect the child at any cost. That included making sure it never came into the world unloved. Or coming into it at all, if it had to come to that.

How could her life have been so perfect one minute and destroyed the next?

* * *

**duh...duh...DUH! Don't know why I did that. It just seemed fun :D **

**I guess you guys will hate me now, but AH WELL**


	3. Seas Between Us

**Aggggh. Love you guys for all the reviews! **

**Sorry this is rushed but My Mum was pestering me when I was writing to hurry up the whole time. Sorry!**

**Hope this relieves the slight cliff-hanger. Or maybe not...**

* * *

Clara wasn't entirely sure how she'd ended up crying on her best friend's shoulder, in her living room.

She must have driven to her home for a while and just appeared at her door.

Clara rarely saw Nina anymore. They'd stopped talking when Clara's Mum died. That was the time when Clara spoke to no-one. They'd got back in touch as Clara went back to school. They saw each other rarely now, last time being the wedding.

The Doctor didn't quite know how close the girls were. They had been best friends since primary school and had once or twice kissed the other. They both said afterwards that it was a phase, but they still were extremely close.

"Clara, I don't understand..?" Nina asked, holding her best friend in her arms who was sobbing uncontrollably

Clara had told her everything that had happened in the previous day.

"Nina, I'm pregnant." Clara looked up at her friend, still gasping for air. She'd never seen Nina so shocked before. It shouldn't have been that unexpected. After all, she was married.

"And you just heard him saying he doesn't want kids?" Clara nodded and tears formed in her eyes again.

"Clara, come on, it'll be okay" she whispered, pulling her in for a hug once more and rubbing soothing circles on her back.

Clara was quiet for a while, allowing her snuffling to weaken and to gain breath. "Anyway, where's Dan?" Dan was Nina's current boyfriend.

"Oh, he's somewhere. I think he said he was at his Mum's house this weekend. Or his Grandmother's. I wasn't really paying attention." Nina always knew how to make Clara laugh at least a little. It was a known fact that Nina had a really bad taste in guys and tended to go through them a little quicker than the average person.

"But, hey you! Don't try and change the subject! I need to know, why drive for two hours in the middle of the night to come and talk to me?"

"I needed to see you. You're the only person I trust except the Doctor and right now, that really isn't going to help." Clara leant back into her friend's open arms.

"But, you drove for two hours to get all the way to Birmingham! This is a hell of a long way from London." Nina felt Clara go rigid and knew that she was going to cry again soon.

Clara paused for a long time before speaking up. "I needed to get away from him. I just needed to think." She paused. "Maybe he's right. Maybe he won't be capable of bringing up a child. I mean, what would they do if they found out? What would they think of their own father? How could they deal with that?" Clara was now nearing hysterics.

Nina was lost. What on Earth was she talking about?

"Clara. What do you mean? What's he done?" Nina was scared that he had hurt Clara. But not just mentally.

Clara jumped out of her arms and started pacing around the living room, sobbing in hysterics.

"I never thought about it properly. What he did, what he was capable of doing."

"Clara. Stop." Nina ran over to her and held he wrists in her hands, to stop her from thrashing them around. Clara was shaking as she looked into Nina's eyes, her lip quivering. "What are you talking about?"

"You know, you remember what happened to my Mum right?" Clara was on the edge of losing herself and Nina was certain this was something she'd never desire to see again. Nina nodded slowly.

"Yeah, course I remember."

"That third shooter. The third Gallifrey shooter. He..." Clara choked and had to cough away the tears. "It was him."

"Clara, you can't be saying..?" Clara just nodded quickly, more tears racing down her face. She had to cough over again from the feeling she might be sick from sobs. "Clara, he told you this? The bastard married you, knowing he killed your Mum and then told you after? I'm going to fucking kill him."

Clara shook her head. "No, no you don't understand. I knew. I've always known."

"Clara, what do you... You married the man who killed your Mother? What the hell is wrong with you Clara? Are you _insane?_ For God's sake!"

"No Nina, listen. He didn't kill her. He didn't kill Mum! He killed his cousins. The actual shooters, they were his cousins. He killed them so they'd stop!"

She collapsed to the floor and curled up in a ball. Nina had never seen someone get smaller.

"I always thought that made it okay. That he did it to help so it would be fine but... he killed people. He _killed_ people. What does that make him?"

Nina dropped to the floor and circled her arms around Clara's shaking form.

"I know what you think Clara. That a murderer can't love. But maybe he just needs a push." Nina wiped away a tear that had spilt down her face. "I've seen the way he looks at you. It's like he just can't help but love you. I'm sure he'll be that way with a child too."

"You think?" Clara's head was still in her knees.

"Yeah." Nina now whispered to Clara to assure her that she meant this from the heart. "But I can't tell you what to do Clara. Only support you."

"Will he be able to love a child unconditionally? Support them without his regrets getting in the way?" Clara looked up at Nina who looked helpless.

"Clara, I don't know him well enough to tell you that. But I know _you_ well enough to know that you'd never let him be a bad father." She paused, thinking through her next sentence carefully. "And you would never let the child grow up unloved, even if that involved taking extreme measures."

Clara stopped breathing. Nina knew her better than anyone. Of course she knew what she was thinking. But she'd given her enough help to do something.

Clara now knew what she had to do. She just hoped it would be the right decision.

* * *

**I actually don't like cliff-hangers but I seem to make a lot :/**


	4. Learn To Live Without

**So, I had huge troubles with this chapter which is why it wasn't up last night. I was set on the direction the story was going in, but as I wrote I realised that I'd made a crossroads for myself and couldn't decide.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH TO LOVERLY SOURIS FOR ALL THE AMAZING ADVICE YOU GAVE ME!**

**AND THANKS TO FORTUNECOOKIE99 TOO :D **

**So, I hope this chapter is heart wrenching. **

* * *

She had barely slept in the last few days. She opened the door tiredly and walked into the living room. She threw her keys down on the sofa and shut her eyes for a moment. She'd left Nina's three days later so she could go home.

"Clara?" The Doctor's voice was quiet and raw. He was standing in the bedroom doorway and his eyes were bloodshot. It was clear he'd been crying for a while. He was wearing a baggy shirt with jeans, far from his usual attire, and held a phone in one hand.

"Hi," she whispered. He sighed heavily, his whole tense body seeming to relax.

"Oh my God, Clara." He ran up to her and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her hair as much as he could. He whispered, "Oh my Clara, thank God you're safe. I was so worried about you," again and again.

"I'm sorry." She replied in a faint voice. It was obvious he'd been scared about her. He hadn't even known what the outburst was for.

"I'm the one who should be sorry Clara. Whatever I've done to hurt you, whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. I'm so sorry for the way you're feeling." He clung even tighter to her, if that was physically possible.

"Doctor, you can't fix this." She whispered, barely audible, in the hope that he wouldn't hear. But of course, he did.

"I can try." He stroked her hair a few times to comfort her. She cried into his shirt silently. But she wouldn't hold onto him, like she always did. Like he was her guidance. That's when he realised Clara wasn't the same anymore.

* * *

_She stared down at the pills in her hand. Could she do it? Maybe she should have gone to the hospital? She heard that getting pills online wasn't always safe._

_But she wasn't thinking straight. Tears streaming down her face as she rested her hand on her stomach. Never before had she had someone with her all the time, but never before had she felt so alone. _

_No-one else could make this decision for her. That was the worst part. It was like a bad dream or a devastating romance movie you watched as a teenager. She didn't want to be in this situation. Anyone else. She wanted anyone else to be here but her._

_Nina came and put her arm over Clara's shoulders. _

_"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked._

_"No." Clara replied, turning to look her in the face._

_Her fist clenched and she had the urge to throw the things at a wall._

_"Once I do it, there's no going back is there?" Clara looked scared. Nina didn't know what to do. She shook her head slowly and Clara nodded in acceptance._

_"Clara, maybe you should call him first. Tell him. Then make your decision?" Nina knew that if Clara went through with this, it would destroy her friend. The friend that was always so passionate about everyone, especially children._

_"I can't tell him. Not like this." Clara slumped against the wall and slowly fell down to hug her knees._

_"What if it helps? What if he wants it. What then?" Nina pulled her arms around Clara._

_"Why do you keep making this harder?" Clara cried out at her. _

_Nina was about to cry again. That's all they'd really both done the last few days._

_"Because, you've got a family. A beautiful child and a husband who loves you." Clara coughed quietly. "It's what I always wanted; I don't have that. I'm not trying to make you change your mind Clara. I just...I feel that you're going to regret this."_

_"I am." Clara replied honestly. She needed someone to help that would make this all better. No, she needed the Doctor._

_She jumped off the floor abruptly and pulled on her coat. "I'm going home." she panicked._

_"Clara, what are you going to do?" Nina ran up to her so she'd calm down. "Clara, please talk to me!"_

_"I need him. I can't do this without him." Clara cried._

_Then Nina realised, Clara loved him more than anything. _

_"If he doesn't want it, then I'll do it. But not without him. This child isn't just a part of me. It's a part of him too. Me and him, the perfect thing. He is the only thing I am sure of, can't you see? I wish I'd realised that before."_

_Before Nina could talk, Clara was giving her a hug and running out of the door. _

* * *

"Try?" Clara sounded extremely hopeful. The Doctor needed to know what was going on, but every time he spoke she would squeeze him tighter and hug him even harder.

"I will try anything for _you_ Clara." Clara whimpered into his now wet shirt.

"Please." Before he even had time to question what she meant, Clara was walking away from him to the bedroom. He followed after to see her curling up in a ball under the covers.

He stroked her back, causing her to flinch slightly. He lifted up the covers and got under them, enveloping Clara in his arms. He still didn't know what was wrong, but at least he had her home again. He'd been so scared when she left, no idea where she was.

* * *

_"Dave, Dave!" The Doctor cried down the phone. "Dave, you have to help me!"_

_"What?" Dave cried back, hearing the panic in the Doctor's voice. "Is Clara okay? What's happened?"_

_"I don't know!" The Doctor was breathing heavily and Dave was pretty certain he was having a panic attack. "She was fine one minute and the next she was shrieking at me. Then she just left. In the middle of the night. I don't know where she is. What if there was an accident? What if she's hurt? Oh God, what if she's dead?"_

_"Doctor!" Dave cried down the phone. "Doctor, calm down! Now who have you called? She won't have gone somewhere she doesn't know."_

_"I've texted everyone I could think off. That's why I'm calling you. I thought she might be there?" _

_"Sorry. She's not here. If she's upset, she'll be with someone she trusts. Have you tried Nina?"_

_"Nina? No, I don't have her number. I've only met her a few times." The Doctor ran to the phone and tried to see if it was written down anywhere. "Her number isn't anywhere!"_

_"Doctor, she'll be at Nina's. Nina lives in Birmingham now. You mustn't panic. If Clara isn't hope by tomorrow night, call me again. Okay?" _

_"Yeah." Dave heard the Doctor's sniffling down the phone "I'm really scared." The Doctor admitted._

_"I know son. But it'll be okay." No-one had ever called the Doctor "son" before. He hadn't had any parents to do that and his foster family never had. It just wasn't something they said. _

_That's why he needed Clara. She was all he had. She was his life._


	5. The Dawn Will Never Break

**Fifth chapter! **

**Now, on tumblr I said that this chapter could either end with a cliffhanger or it could have the next part to the story on it. **

**BUT, I kinda needed to know reeaaally quickly and since no-one replied I'm being ridiculously mean and giving you the cliffhanger.**

**(Evil Moffat Laugh Muahahaha)**

**But I love you guys for your reviews! You are all amazing and I love you from the depth of my hearts!**

**So, enjoy! (I liked writing this because it's so fluffy at one point!)**

_**Who took the sunlight out of your sky?**_

_**Who watched as life was passing you by?**_

_**Who let the truth turn into a lie?**_

_**It was I, It was I.**_

* * *

The Doctor hadn't asked why Clara had left yet and Clara hadn't brought it up.

She still hadn't taken the pills. She wouldn't do it without talking to him first, but she just couldn't find a good time.

They barely talked either. They'd go to work and work on their projects, exchanging information only when they absolutely needed to.

* * *

"Hey, Clara!" Rose called at lunchtime. "Clara, what's up with you and the doc?"

Rose had discovered that this was sometimes Clara's nickname for the Doctor, along with a few that shouldn't be said around children.

"Drop it Rose." Clara muttered under her breath, pressing the button for the lift so she could go out and get some coffee.

"Clara, aren't you going to talk to me?" Rose walked after her but the lift doors started to close with Clara already inside. "Clara?" She had gone.

* * *

Clara chose to work late. She was so close to getting over the next hurdle in her work and knew that she'd be back where she started by morning if she didn't do it now.

The Doctor was about to leave the building at six, assuming Clara had gone, when he saw her hiding behind her desk still working.

"You not home yet?" He asked gently, approaching her desk slowly.

Her eyes stayed fixated on her computer screen where she was studying and typing numerous equations.

"No, I have to finish this." She replied.

"You can always do it tomorrow?" He knew that the next reply could either be calm or she could turn into angry Clara.

"I'm too close. I'll only be a few more hours." He nodded at her to say it was okay and walked towards her. He planted a soft kiss on her head which she closed her eyes to absorb. Then he kissed her cheek and then her lips. None of them lasted long at all but they were loving and made Clara feel warm inside.

"Don't be too late okay? I'll ask the security to leave the lights on." He turned to leave and pressed the button for the elevator.

"Thanks!" Clara chirped, her eyes finally meeting his. She was half-smiling and it made the Doctor feel instantly better. He'd been feeling like they weren't getting along but this small gesture reassured him that she probably just needed more time.

* * *

He got a text at 3am from the guards. The lights on floor seven had just been turned off, on and off again, and upon inspection, they'd found someone there. The message also ended with a small note saying:

_*she is asleep on the office floor. We don't want to wake her.*_

He lightly chuckled to himself and threw on some clothes. He was half-asleep when driving, but luckily the roads were quite empty.

When he arrived at the office, security immediately let him in and took him up to the seventh floor. He saw Clara lying by her computer, a small blanket covering her body.

She must have chosen to take a small nap and fallen into a heavy sleep. She hadn't been sleeping much in the last few days and it had all come back on her. He couldn't help but notice the guards smile a little when she buried her face deep into her arms and muffled a small sound. Everyone in the room found Clara's sleeping state undeniably adorable. The Doctor even got a few "you're lucky to have her" looks.

He slowly stepped over to her and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He then pulled her legs into one arm and her body into another, slowly lifting her up into a bridal hold. She buried her nose into is chest before groggily opening her eyes.

"Hey, Clara. It's just me." He whispered.

"What..?" She started but he hushed her.

"You fell asleep in the office. But it's okay. You're work is saved and I'm taking you home now. Just go back to sleep." He kissed her nose gently and clung onto his shirt, promptly falling back to sleep.

* * *

He managed to get her all the way home without waking her, which he was extremely grateful for. She needed the rest and he didn't want any workers coming in and disturbing her the next morning.

He pulled back the duvet and slipped her underneath the covers, still clothed. He could live with being shouted at for that the next morning. But now, she was too adorable to move.

He then remembered that he'd left her bag in the car. He quickly ran out to get it, hoping that no-one would smash the car window for it if it was in plain view. He grabbed it quietly and ran back inside.

As he threw the bag down on the sofa, an object fell out. He went to put it back, but paused a moment. He couldn't see much in the moonlight, but he knew that he'd never seen this before in her bag.

He switched on a nearby lamp and studied the box. Being a scientist, he knew immediately what these pills were. He felt that somehow a hole had been ripped out of his stomach and he thought he was going to be physically sick. He felt the packet over to find that the pills were no longer in there.

He looked over to the bedroom with tears in his eyes. How could he not tell him? This was something they should have talked about, together.

Then he realised that this was why she had been acting strangely in the last few days. She must have taken the pills at Nina's, he thought. She'd been avoiding him and crying when she thought he wasn't looking because of this.

But he just couldn't understand why she'd done it. It was so unlike her. She loved kids, was great with them. Tears silently fell down his face and he threw the packet at a wall. It was the most outburst he could have without waking Clara. He curled up in a ball on the sofa and rocked himself. He would have to wait until she woke up before he could confront her, but he couldn't sleep. This was going to be the longest few hours of his life.

* * *

_**Who said they'd be there if you just wait?**_

_**And when the time came it was too late**_

_**Who broke your wings so you couldn't fly?**_

_**It was I. It was I**_

_**I take the blame, well who else should?**_

_**I'd change the past if only I could**_

_**And keep you safe and keep you whole**_

_**I take the blame, God Save My Soul.**_

**just realised that I put depth of my hearts at the beginning. To clarify: I am not a timelord (or am I?)**

**Also: I know I've not done songs but I really think you should all listen to God Save My Soul by Idina Menzel. It isn't religious, it's about blaming yourself for everything. (song I've written at beginning and end)**

**And cliffhanger...**


	6. Truth Turns Into Lies

**A really long chapter now.**

**I thought it was ultra mean to give you this in two halves because it would have been shorter and just so many cliff-hangers.**

**Thanks to .3, Misiu, Chasinthestars123, NoLongerAGuest, lunawing610, AdamMc66 AND The impossible Souffle, fortunecookie99 and Loverly Souris for ALWAYS reviewing :)Love you all! And to all the guests :D**

_Who swore to answer all your prayers? Heal all your bruises, dry all of your tears?_

_Who wasn't there and can't tell you why? It was I, It was I._

_I say your name, I lie awake._

_It seems the dawn will never break_

_One day for me the bell will toll, I say your name, God Save My Soul_

* * *

Clara woke up and studied her surroundings. How did she...?

Of course, the Doctor took her home. She'd felt so safe in his arms. She turned around, expecting him to be next to her but he wasn't.

She huffed to herself and got out bed. She looked down at her attire and realised she was still in her clothes from the day before. She didn't mind that the Doctor hadn't changed her.

Looking at the clock , she knew that the Doctor had let her sleep in. But looking out of the window made her realise that the Doctor wasn't at work either as his car was there. She threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, not bothering with any make-up.

She walked through to the living room and smiled, seeing the Doctor on the sofa. Hearing her approach, he lifted his head slightly. " I wanted you to sleep in." He stated dully.

His voice sounded scratchy and it worried Clara. She walked around to face him, then seeing his tear-stained face.

"Doctor?" She asked worried. She cupped his cheek but he shrugged her away, not looking into her eyes.

Clara had never felt so rejected before. "Doctor, what's wrong?"

His jaw locked and he stayed still for a moment before reaching into his pocket. Clara immediately knew what the packet he pulled out was.

She stood, horrified that he'd found these.

"You went through my things?" She asked quietly, not thinking straight.

"They fell out of your bag last night when I carried my _wife_ home." He spat, standing abruptly. The fact the Doctor was taller than her had never bothered her before, but now he was angry. She'd never seen him so furious before. It took her a moment to remember that this was her husband. The way he'd said "wife" made it seem like a mockery and it felt to Clara like someone had punched her in the gut.

"Doctor, let me explain..."

"You didn't tell me you were _pregnant?_ Fuck, Clara! I thought we were a fucking family, but no. You go and take matters into your own fucking hands."

He was pacing around the room in a fury. Tears welled up in Clara's eyes and she was trying everything not to cry.

"No, you don't..."

"I thought that you loved me but apparently you don't! I've always been loyal to you, but you've never trusted me! I'm sick of all this shit. I wanted a life, not a bloody serial drama!" He refused to look her in the eye. "Why do you always have to think you're right and actually go and fuck everything up? Why do I even bother anymore? I don't want to see your face."

Clara was in a panic, crying and struggling to breath.

As he grabbed his car keys and ran towards the door, she tried to grab him. "Doctor, I haven't done anything, I haven't..."

"Get off me!" He shouted in her face. It made her step back in shock and he looked pitifully at her. "How do you like it now, huh? When I'm the one who's finally getting sick of you? I'm leaving. And don't expect me back."

"No, Doctor." she sobbed, but he was out of the door. She was crying as much as she could. She was almost certain that the neighbours would have heard that, but she didn't care.

She looked at the mirror on the wall and hated herself. She couldn't stand to see her tear filled face staring back at her much longer. Taking all the anger and fury she'd just built up, she slammed her fist into the mirror, shattering it into pieces on the ground.

She cried out in pain. Looking down at her fist, she saw bones looking wrong and pieces of glass sticking out of her skin. The sight of it made her want to throw up and she ran to the bathroom.

She clenched her hands around the toilet seat and emptied the contents of her stomach. As she held her first tighter, the bones ran pain through her entire body and the glass dug even deeper into her skin.

She didn't want to go to hospital. She hated hospitals so much. She chose to just carry on as normal.

She found a pair of tweezers in her make-up bag and grasped them loosely in her left hand. Her knuckles were already a bad colour and the pain was indescribable.

Carefully, she pulled the pieces of glass out of her skin, gasping at each movement. The glass was bigger than she thought, like icebergs under her skin. When one particularly big section of glass was removed, blood flowed out quickly. Clara had to hold down towels on it to stop the blood.

After a while the pain got more and more bearable, the colour of her hand getting worse and worse.

She removed the shattered mirror off the wall, seeing a dent behind where it used to be placed. That's probably how she'd hurt her bones.

Not thinking straight, she forced herself to believe that it wouldn't be anything serious. She could have only bruised the bones a little and she'd removed all the glass so it was fine.

She kept trying to use her hand, causing extreme pain every time. But the pain couldn't match the ache she was feeling inside.

She texted a few people to check where the Doctor could be, but he wasn't anywhere. He hadn't let her explain that she hadn't taken the pills. They were in her top drawer.

She wasn't going to take them. They were only precautionary. But now she wasn't sure. She couldn't bring up a child alone but if he didn't come home soon, she would have to take them.

* * *

He'd been gone a week. He'd stayed at a friend's house.

He hadn't expected her to turn up for work on the first two days. On the third day with no call, he got a little worried. He couldn't deny that he still cared.

He just needed to calm down. He still loved her; how could he not? He drove over to the flat on the fifth day, but her car wasn't there. He'd asked the neighbours if they'd seen her but the last thing they'd heard of her was the day of the argument.

He let himself in, examining the room. Everything looked normal, except the mirror was gone off the wall. There was a small dent behind it but he didn't question it further.

After a small inspection, he left, also noting the lack of food in the fridge.

* * *

But now a week had gone and he was worried. She hadn't called him at all and had made no attempt to contact him in anyway.

He chose to go over to the flat once again, in the hope she'd be home.

Upon seeing her car, he hesitated. It was too late now though.

He'd never been more grateful for their door being silent as it opened and closed. He heard a slight choked noise when he entered. It came from the bedroom.

Every few seconds a new one came and he knew she was crying. He walked towards the closed door and slowly opened it.

The sight he came across scared him. Clara was curled into a ball on the edge of the bed. Her body shook with sobs and her hair was a mess. Her right arm was hanging off the edge of the bed.

She hit her fist into the bed for a while, wincing every time. Her arm eventually got tired but her sobs didn't stop.

"Clara?" He asked quietly. It was clear that she thought she'd imagined the noise when she squeezed her head in her hands and started whispering "I'm sorry." to herself over and over again.

He could tell that she wasn't in a good state. He stepped towards the bed, making a creek in the floor. Her crying stopped and she quickly flashed her head to look at him. They stared into each other's eyes for a while and looked at the other.

Without warning, Clara wiped her hand across her eyes and got out of the bed, running past him. He barely had time to register what was going on.

"Tea?" she asked, her voice sounding quite normal again. He hated how she could just block out emotions so quickly. It killed him to know that she always kept so much bottled up around him.

"Um, yeah." he replied, his voice thick.

She quickly filled up the kettle. It didn't escape his noticed that she winced when picking it up. Actually, every time she used her right hand.

They remained in a drowning silence until the kettle had boiled and she poured the water into the cups. He walked up behind her as she started to stir the tea. He placed his hand over the one stirring, making it still. She inhaled sharply and froze.

Instinctively, he felt that something was wrong. One of her knuckles was sticking out more prominently that it should have and he could feel bumps under her skin.

He turned her around quickly and took her hand in his. He examined the black, blue and yellow colouring of her knuckles with a gently touch. Her hand was in a state. She should have been in a considerable amount of pain. She should not have even been able to move it properly. By his reckoning, the bruising was about a week old. Her bones had started to try and heal already, but without any cast they were fixing in the wrong direction. Cuts and abrasions covered her hand and it looked a mess.

She snatched it away from his grasp and pulled it back. He frowned at her in confusion. That action should have hurt her as he'd skimmed past her bones.

Only now, facing her, could he see how much of a mess she was in. Big bags hung under her eyes and she was pale.

"You need to go to the hospital." He said, gesturing towards her hand.

"It's fine." She replied, turning back to the teas. She held one in her injured hand and he, once again, looked at her in shock. It was clear that using this hand was hurting her. It was also clear that she'd been using it ever since the injury. He couldn't bear to think how much pain she'd put herself through.

"Clara, it's not fine. Your hand is..."

"My hand is fine, okay? I'm not going to hospital. It just needs a little exercise." She put down the cups, clenched her fist and released it again to show him as an example.

"Your hand is broken. And don't go kidding yourself otherwise because you've studied biology well enough to know that." She looked up at him with a blank face. She was blocking out all feelings and emotions again, which killed him.

"Come on." He grabbed her left arm and dragged her towards the door.

"Wh..."

"Hospital. Now." He commanded.

"No!" She shouted back. "I don't need to go to any fucking hospitals, alright?"

He released her arm from his grip and stood back. She was trying to be brave andpretend that she was ok. He couldn't let her do this.

"Please?" She stayed put, looking at him directly again. "I'll do whatever you want, just please let me take you to the hospital."

"Whatever I want?" She asked, her voice breaking.

He nodded in reply and she paused a moment before letting herself talk.

"Fine. I want to talk. I want you to listen to me. And then I want you to listen and then obey to one instruction." He accepted this and nodded his head a few times to agree.

"There's something you don't know Doctor." She said quietly but then coughed. Gaining volume she spoke again. "I...I didn't get rid of the baby. I was going to, but I couldn't without you. I needed to talk to you first. I had to check that you really didn't want it."

The Doctor looked confused. What did she mean "he really didn't want it?"

"I was keeping the pills in my top drawer. I was about to tell you I was pregnant when you flipped out on me. Guess I really helped myself there."

He was shocked. He thought she'd done something she hadn't. But nothing could prepare him for what she said next.

"And now here's my request. I want you to take me to the clinic. The last pills I had were from some site online and I threw them out. Need some new ones so I thought I'd do it safely this time." Tears welled up in her eyes and she grabbed her coat off the back of the sofa. The lack of compassion in her voice hit him .The lack of any emotion in her voice in fact.

"No, I'm not letting you do that." He gasped. Not now, he couldn't let her do that now.

"One request that you'd do, right? I want you to take me to that clinic and not say anything to me. I want you to know that I'm doing it this time and it is _my _choice. _Not yours!_ In the end, I will be the one that has to bring this child up..." She shook her head to herself and her tears fell freely.

"And I _can't. _I can't do it._"_

"Clara, please don't...Don't do this, I'm not letting you do this."

"Fine then, I'll do it alone and I'm definitely not going to any fucking hospital. See you later, if you're still here." She pulled the handle on the door.

"No. Clara, please!" He ran over to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "Please don't get rid of it. I'm begging you, please."

"Don't you see?" She turned to face him, his arms still wrapped around her. "I wasn't going to do this. I wasn't ever going to do this. But now I know the truth. I heard you say yourself that you don't think you could bring up a child. I overheard your little conversation with Rose. Nina told me to give you a chance when I went to her and asked her what to do. I thought you'd be capable of love, but you didn't even give me a damn chance. You left." She closed her eyes briefly. "What if you leave me with the baby when it's born? What will I do then?"

"I'd Never..." He whispered into her ear. "I could never do that. Never again. It shouldn't have been this way in the first place." He took a heavy breath. "It's not enough. Never enough. I'm sorry." She hated giving up but she felt herself caving in. She wrapped her arms around him and cried into his chest, locking her hands on his back. He couldn't held but hear her gasp of pain once again. "Clara, I know you hate me right now, but please, _please_ let me take you to a hospital."

She shook her head again. "I can't go. I can't stand the places"

He held her head in his hands. "Clara, you have to. What did you do? I mean, What happened? What happened after I left?"

"I..." she coughed to clear her throat. "I got angry. The mirror was on the wall. So I hit it. It smashed a bit. Well, a lot. I got a bit of glass in my hand. I removed it all though. So it's fine, see?"

"It's definitely not fine Clara. Why did you hit it?" She looked at her feet and slurred her words so they could only slightly be heard.

"I couldn't stand to see myself." She wouldn't say anymore and he didn't try to push her. The doctor's at the hospital put her arm in a cast. It had to be in for four weeks as her bones were now in the wrong place. They also discovered glass that hadn't been removed, but buried into her skin. They made many inquiries as to why she'd left it so long. They also asked the Doctor a lot of questions, checking that he hadn't done this to her. It was a stressful experience with a ridiculous number of x-rays and interviews involved.

They were both relieved to finally be home at the end of the night. To Clara's relief, the Doctor stayed. She needed him there for her so she wouldn't do anything stupid. He was her gravity that kept her sane.

"Doctor?" Clara whispered, as he lay holding her in bed. She was tired, but she had to say it before sleep captured her.

"Yes?" He kissed her hair and inhaled deeply.

"I'm not going to get rid of it. It's too perfect. It's us." He sighed in relief and kissed the back of her neck several times.

"I love you so much Clara."


	7. One and Only

**This story will only have three or four chapters after this I think**

**Thank you all soooo much for reviewing! I generally didn't think I would be able to post anything today as some shit's going down at home right now but I found a spare moment. **

**For my last chapter I forgot to thank FORTUNECOOKIE99 FOR BEING MY AMAZING BETA TESTER. I FORGOT TO PUT MY THANKS ON IT AND FELT LIKE A REALLY RUDE TWAT SO SORRRRY!**

**I feel like my writing has gotten a little dull- I don't know. Please tell me what you'd like to happen for the last few chapters :D- Shiri xo**

* * *

"Actually, I've decided I'm going to go home." Clara re-buckled up her seatbelt and urged the Doctor to turn on the ignition again.

"No, Clara!" He giggled and un-buckled her once more. "Come on, it's not like he's going to kill you!"

"Me?" she scoffed. "You think I'm worried about myself? I think he's more likely to rip _your_ head off!"

The Doctor chuckled under his breath. "Clara, I think you're forgetting that you're no longer a teenager. We're married! It can't be _that _unexpected, can it?"

Clara took a steady breath. "Fine, but let's get this over with." She paused for a small moment. "Quickly?" She honestly looked scared and the Doctor found it adorable.

They both got out of the car and The Doctor put his arm around Clara's shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly. They walked up to the door and knocked three times.

"He- Clara!" Dave shouted as he pulled his daughter in for a hug. "I've missed you so much!"

"Hi Dad." Clara smiled and wrapped her arms around him. He stepped back from the hug for a moment.

"What happened to your arm?" He asked worryingly, gesturing towards the white cast on it. She turned slightly red for a moment before choking out some words.

"I...I fell out of the shower. Whacked my arm on the toilet." She scrunched up her nose to show discomfort and it made Dave laugh.

"Oh, well anyway, come inside!" Dave stepped out of the doorway and led them through to the living room.

Clara and the Doctor sat down on the sofa and Clara rested her head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around his waist.

"So, how are you guys?" Dave asked happily.

"We're great. Really great actually." Clara grinned up at the Doctor who smiled knowingly back. Dave eyed them, intrigued to know what they were hiding.

"Dad." Clara steadied herself, then looked him in the eye. "I'm pregnant." She bit her lip for a second, unsure of what his reaction would be.

"Pregnant?" Dave seemed stunned for a moment before smiling and picking Clara up to swoop into a big hug. "Oh wow! My little girl." He put her down and poked her nose, making her smile. "You've grown up so fast! I forget sometimes. I'm so happy for you!" Tears were in his eyes and Clara's too.

"Dad, please don't get all sentimental on me or I will start bucketing tears. I swear these mood swings are ridiculous!" Dave kissed her forehead twice and hugged her once more, sitting her back down next the Doctor. She was sandwiched between them and felt very small.

"How far along are you then?" Dave held her hand tight and it made her feel so young again.

"12 weeks." Dave's eyes widened. "We went to the Doctor's yesterday for a scan." She could see Dave's slight hurt at the lack of knowledge about something so important for so long.

"We didn't want to tell anyone, in case anything was wrong with the baby." Clara gave the Doctor a thank you smile. "That's what Doctor's usually say to do. We just didn't want to jink it or anything." Dave got his smile back quickly.

"It's fine, I understand. I'm just so proud of you!" Everyone was smiling at Clara like she'd just won an Olympic medal.

"Dad. I'm just pregnant! Seriously, you're proud of the fact I had sex with my husband?" Her intentions were to make Dave stop fondling her and they did exactly that.

"Clara!" He shouted at she giggled. Dave looked over to the Doctor. "Does she ever do this to you?"

"All the time." The Doctor laughed, earning him Clara's elbow in his stomach. He pretended to be wounded and stuck his tongue out at Clara. She bit her lip in laughter and smiled down at him.

He sat back up to give her a kiss. He thought that this was his forgiveness kiss, but Clara decided to be a little more creative. She then tickled his neck, making him cry out for mercy.

Dave laughed at the couple who were acting like two year olds. It felt so strange to him to think that soon enough, Clara would be looking after her own child. His grandchild. He had an overwhelming feeling of age come to him, but with that a wise bout of nostalgia.

He could remember all of Clara's firsts like they were yesterday. Her first word, which was Mama. Her second word being Clara. Finally, her third word was Dada.

She'd always been cheeky towards him, ever since being a baby. He regretted the times in her life when they hadn't spoken. When he hadn't been there for her.

He knew that the Doctor and Clara would never allow that to happen with their child, but they _had_ both lost parents. In some ways, that was what brought them together. The feeling of being lost on a bridge, one lonely night.

* * *

Later on, when Dave was cooking for them, Clara approached him alone.

"Dad?" She asked gently.

"Clara." He turned to her and smiled.

"Dad, are you ashamed of me?" Clara sounded so young again. So scared of failure and disappointment.

"Ashamed? How could I ever be ashamed of you?" Dave walked up to her and hugged her tight, stroking her hair. "You're my precious girl."

"I just feel sometimes like I've gone wrong. Like I don't deserve everyone around me to still be here."

"Clara, we don't deserve you. You are perfect and we love you." Dave kissed her head and stroked her shoulder. She looked down to her feet as he said it to avoid his glance. "Hey." He gently guided her head back towards his. "I mean it."

Clara promptly turned to leave the room and sat down on the sofa to watch TV. The Doctor crossed her in her path and flashed her a loving smile which she quickly returned.

The Doctor walked up to Dave who was about to burn the pasta.

"Oh, careful!" He shouted, turning down the heat and saving the food from it's fate.

"Thanks." Dave laughed. "I was so out of it." He gave the Doctor a pat on the back and smiled to him.

They both stared at each other in silence for a while. It was obvious they both wanted to speak but neither had the guts to start first. The Doctor looked over to the open door and chose to shut it. He didn't want Clara to hear anything.

"Dave, it's my fault." He spat out quietly. It wasn't a complete whisper but it wasn't very loud.

"What's your fault?" Dave asked, confused. He was finding himself that way a lot during this visit.

"That Clara's upset." He looked up at Dave to clarify. "You remember when I called you a few weeks back? Well, she eventually came home after that. You were right about her being at Nina's. But...She wasn't the same. She was distant. I wanted to give her some space, you know? She just wouldn't open up. Then one night, I found some stuff that fell out of her bag. Turned out it was abortion tablets. I hadn't even known she was pregnant." The Doctor looked to the ground in shame with himself. "I flipped out."

"What did you do?" The Doctor's fear and disgust in his own face didn't help any suspicions Dave was having.

"I shouted at her. Really badly. I remember she looked so sad; so scared. I chose to leave. The packet had been empty; I assumed she'd taken the pills already. I didn't even give her time to explain. I left her for a whole week Dave. No messages, nothing. The last thing I'd said was that I wasn't coming back." He swallowed down the thickness in his voice. "I went back once but she wasn't there. Second time, she was. I...I've never seen her in such a state. I saw her hand, it was all wrong. Bones in all the wrong places. She looked a mess. A real mess. She told me everything and we sorted out her hand. But I don't think she trusts me anymore."

The Doctor had murmured out most of his words too fast and Dave had struggled to make sense of them all.

"Do you know why she didn't tell you?" Dave asked, putting a hand on the Doctor's shoulder, simultaneously turning off the pasta that was about to shrivel up. "Clara's a smart girl. She only does things for a reason."

"She overheard me say I don't think I'd be a good father. But it wasn't as simple as that. It may have sounded like I didn't want kids, but I do. I just felt incapable at the time." The Doctor stood up straight from slouching on the counter and blinked fast a few times to stop tears filling up in his eyes. "I don't want to lose our relationship. I want this kid to be happy and have two parents who love each other."

He grabbed a glass and poured himself a glass of water. "I will always love Clara. I just fear that one day she'll see me for what I am and she won't love me"

Dave shook his head. He had heard both the Doctor and Clara speak nonsense with minutes of the other and they needed to clear things up.

"Doctor, she loves you. She was probably having a hard time, but that isn't your fault. She's never been able to hate you." He paused. "Even when she found out who you really are, she still loved you. That's what hurt her so much at the time. The fact that she loved the man who killed her mother."

The Doctor's eyes opened and he raised his hands defensively. "I..."

"Doctor, I know you didn't do it. Relax." The Doctor took a second to become peaceful again. "You two never talk of what happened the day she found out. Maybe you should."

The Doctor considered what had been said. To move forward, they had to look back.


	8. Keep Me Warm

**Thanks to you all so much for reviewing! **

**I think that there will only be a maximum of two chapters left, one being an epilogue. If not the next being the epilogue. Thanks so much guys!**

**Btw, just watched room at the top with Jenna in. I've seen the sex scene before by accident but I watched the whole thing. You know when you see a celebrity different suddenly? I just feel like I've intruded on her private life or walked in on her in the bedroom or something. Never mind, this message doesn't matter :/**

**Also- Matt in American Psycho! If you have seen a few of my posts, a few of you may know that I am completely obsessed with musicals. They rule my life along with Doctor Who so this has made me so happy! I hope he carries it on to when it goes to the West End!**

**(currently an off-west end production which is why it's only running a month as previews and trials. complicated theatre stuff if that was confusing :/)**

* * *

The Doctor and Clara sat outside their flat in their car. He needed to talk to her, but not where it could get too heated.

"Doctor, I overheard." Clara looked down at her hands in her lap.

"What?" He asked, looking up at her from the driver's seat.

"What you said to my Dad." She looked up to face him and placed her cast-free hand on his cheek. "You need to stop thinking of yourself as a monster. I _do _see you for what you are. And that's the brave man who's only ever done good, but has still been hurt for it. I see the man who has saved me so many times and I see the man I love. I don't see a monster."

She pulled him in for a kiss. As her lips moved against his she was telling him all this in her actions. That she loved him.

He pulled away, slightly breathless and placed his hands on either side of her face.

"Clara, I've killed people. What else could I possibly be?"

"You're a hero. How many lives did you save?"

"How many lives did I not?"

Clara looked into his eyes for the source of all this self-loathing.

"You can't think about that. You did what you could..."

"I allowed an innocent woman to take a bullet for me. I was a coward." The Doctor could see tears building up in the bottom of Clara's eyes. She pulled herself closer to him so that their noses were millimetres from touching.

"Doctor..." She ran speechless and so kissed him once more, grabbing at his shirt to make sure he wouldn't let go. Even once the kiss had ended she kept her lips touching his. "She did that for us. I know that sounds insane, but my Mum always had a way of knowing things. Something up there, God, destiny, fate or whatever, made it so that she saved your life so you could be with me."

She kissed him in-between sentences, sliding onto his lap. "She did it so we could be together. And I believe she's still looking out for me. She must have known that she had to save you, so you could save me."

"You're the one who saved _me_, my dear."

"Don't make this a competition." She whispered, chuckling. Her hands tangled in his hair and he put his hands on her back to secure her on his lap.

"Do you remember the first day we met?" Clara asked, biting her lip. He nodded slowly back.

"Remember how lost I was._ You_ saved me. You took me home and gave me a life."

"May have been a little paedo-like. I voluntarily took a strange girl back into my home." He laughed and it made Clara laugh too knowing that he was happy about something.

"And took away her innocence." Clara teased.

"Wasn't hearing any complaints from you." He wrapped his arms tighter around Clara so that their bodies were pressed tight together.

"And you won't for a while." Clara kissed him hard. The only sounds made were when they broke apart for air and their chuckles in-between.

"I love you." The Doctor choked, out of breath. Clara took his bottom lip in-between hers and kissed him once more.

"I love you more." She replied.

"What was that about making this a competition?" He teased.

"Shut up." She smirked. She then opened the car door and climbed off him allowing the cold air to cover him. He felt instantly cold without the feeling of her warm body on his.

She ran up to the apartment and went to get changed for bed. As the Doctor walked in, he looked around the place.

The flat was fairly large, with two bedrooms and a big living room. It was a far sight bigger than what he owned as a teenage but it felt wrong. It felt like the house of two adults, just starting out their lives together. That's when he had a thought.

He opened the bedroom door to find Clara in her nightdress lying down on the bed, her eyes closed peacefully. He climbed out of his suit and stripped down to is boxers. He then lay down behind Clara and held her tight, his hand caressing her stomach.

"Clara?" He whispered into her ear.

"Hmm?" She asked, getting off the bed and climbing under the covers, signalling the Doctor to do the same.

She rested her head on his chest and he engulfed her in his arms.

"Tomorrow, I thought...I dunno..." He looked down at her waiting eyes. "Do you want to go and have a look around some houses?"

"But...Doctor, you said..."

"I know I said that we have enough room here. But what about when we have a second child?" Clara gazed up at him, smiling.

"A second? Bit ahead of yourself there Doctor. Can we take this one at a time?" She looked up at his hopeful face and it made her grin. "But we'll definitely have two." She whispered.

"Really?" The Doctor looked like a happy four year old on Christmas morning.

"Really." She replied. He kissed her gently and hugged her tight.

"So...What about the house shopping?" He asked, looking down cheekily.

"What the hell." Clara replied, burying her nose in the crook of his neck.

"Yes!" He said to himself and Clara leant away from him, about to burst into laughter.

"I know, I can't believe I just said that." Gasped the Doctor, looking gob smacked. Clara then promptly burst into a small fit of laughter with the Doctor.

* * *

When they finally calmed down, Clara moved back into his arms.

"Oh, Doctor?" She asked, remembering something.

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking. You probably don't want the child taking the surname Smith. It's so common and boring and you never use it, except for legal documents. And I really don't want them to be called Oswald because then people make comments about them having a single parent and all that shit." The Doctor smiled, intrigued to know what she was thinking.

"I know you don't want them to have your real name, so I thought we could mix it. Take your name and mine and make a new one, unique for the baby."

"So..."

"Oswin." Clara smiled. "Their surname can be Oswin?"

"Oswin." The Doctor repeated to himself. "I like it. Little himmy or her- Oswin. You know we _can _find out the gender if you..."

"No." Clara interrupted. "I want it to be a surprise." The Doctor looked a little sad at this. "But we can choose names, if you want?"

The Doctor smiled and started to list them on his fingers.

"For a boy I say: Albert, Richard, Gaston and Stormageddon." Clara's eyes widened with each suggestion. "For a girl I say: Bridget, Angelina, Venus or Potu."

"Potu?!" Clara asked.

"It stand for princess of the universe!" Clara's mouth opened in shock.

"Okay, Albert and Richard sound like they're Victorian. Gaston is the guy I _hate_ in Beauty and the Beast and No way in living hell are we calling a child Stormageddon!" Before he could protest, Clara carried on. "Bridget is nice but still too old, Angelina is a dancing mouse, Venus is a planet and often visualised as a sex symbol and Potu is ridiculous and insane!" Clara was half laughing at herself.

"Although..." She started and suddenly smiled to herself. "How about Belle? Or Bella? From Beauty and the Best" It was both of their favourite animations.

"Belle Oswin. Bella Oswin." The Doctor said out loud to himself. "I prefer Bella. It has a nicer rig to it, don't you think?"

"Yeah" Clara smiled. "And I was thinking Kobe for a boy? I've always loved that name."

"I like Kobe." He whispered. They fell asleep in each other's arms, looking forward to the future that was to come.


	9. You Are My Home

**I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING**

**the update I did was crap so I removed it but then didn't redo it!So this is the end I think. I was gonna do two so there was smut but tbh it was pointless so just gonna change the rating to a T. **

**I cannot be more sorry for not updating! Some shit was going on in my life and got in the way. Sorry :/**

**BUT: If you liked my AU I am writing another one (still whoufflé) Based in the 1950s. The story will be really good! I promise- I would tell you where the idea came from but then you might get a jist of what will happen in the story and I don't want that! But it should be really good! I'm quite proud of the idea :D **

**Thanks to: NoLongerAGuest, -Tano, The Twenty Third of November, Loverly Souris, breathoffreshwords, River-Spoilers, FortuneCookie99, AdamMc66, launawing610, The Impossible Souffle, .3, Misiu and ChasingTheStars123 for all reviewing this fic! **

**I am so happy you've all read this and it has meant so much to me! Thank you soo much!**

* * *

Clara was now six months along and her bump was quite big.

At first glance, you might just have thought she was quite big when wearing baggy clothes, but from how small her legs and arms were it was very obvious she was pregnant.

She complained to the Doctor every day about how fat she looked and how it was all his fault. She'd then cry for a while as the mood swings hit her hard. Usually she'd apologise to him later and they'd be happy again.

He was used to it by now so it didn't really bother him. What the Doctor didn't like was all the men staring at her tits in the street before they realised she was pregnant. He'd almost started a few fist fights and would have done if Clara hadn't been there to tell him off. Clara just honestly found it amusing that the men still tried even though she was with her partner and pregnant.

But then, she hated everyone asking her if she was pregnant as if it was the most unobvious thing in the world? She could almost recite how many weeks she was and how excited she was in her sleep. Everybody seemed really interested, including cashiers in shops. Although she very much enjoyed the young men carrying her shopping bags to the car for her, even though she could pretty much handle them herself.

The Doctor hated the fact Clara wouldn't take any maternity leave until she was nearly eight months. He of course was going to change that and make sure of it, but he wouldn't tell her that quite yet. Her excuse was that they'd lose money and she needed to get her work done. Both excuses were awful considering that A, she didn't get pay checks because he wrote them and B, she could work from home.

Clara really just wanted to be around the Doctor. She was scared that she'd go into labour and he wouldn't be there or something could go wrong with the baby or he'd miss the birth.

At her refusal to take leave, the Doctor gave her extra long lunch breaks so he could take her out for dinner. He wanted to get her away from her work for a while.

They liked going to a coffee shop down the road which had a lower level with sofas and cushions they could lounge around on. Clara would always get either a caramel frappuccino or an iced mocha.

* * *

One of these days, the Doctor went to get himself a chocolate muffin for which she made jokes about his "so called six-pack" turning into rolls of fat. It had caused him to lift his shirt up and make Clara stroke his well toned stomach. He had been working out and in honesty, there was definitely six well-defined muscles there. She had swatted him away to get kiss muffin with a kiss and then waited for his return.

He seemed to be taking a while, so she stood to go and find him and bumped into somebody.

She immediately started apologising and checked their coffee hadn't been spilled. Upon looking up at their face, Clara froze. She had never felt more uncomfortable in her life.

Sam was looking down at her with an equal expression.

"Clara!" He cried in shock, coughing to clear his throat. "What a pleasant surprise!"

"Sam!" She exclaimed. "Wow! It's great to see you." She grinned at him in a friendly way and he returned the gesture.

"So...How are you? How's life?" He asked, folding his arms across his body and relaxing a little.

"I'm good. Great actually!" Clara beamed. "Things are great."

"I can see that!" He pointed down to her belly and she put her hands over her bump.

"I bet for a moment there you thought I had gotten really fat." She laughed and he nodded his head in a light embarrassment.

"Only a split second, but I figured it out. Would have been humiliating if you weren't though!"

"Wouldn't it just." Clara laughed and so did Sam. She still felt for him, but as a long lost friend. It was nice to be able to greet each other nicely after all they'd been through.

"So, who's the lucky fella?" He asked cheekily. Clara blushed for a moment.

"Well, actually it's..."

"Clara!" The Doctor shouted, walking over to her. "There you are! I thought I'd lost you!"

"You should have seen me from the stairs Doctor." Clara elbowed him in the chest as he threw his arm around her shoulders.

"I took the lift." He teased, flashing his triple chocolate muffin at her and taking a huge bite. "Mmmmm" He chewed to her face.

"Eugh." She laughed. "You are disgusting _and_ lazy! Definitely getting fat."

The Doctor laughed before realising Clara had been in conversation to someone.

"Oh hi!" The Doctor put the muffin in his other hand to extend it and shake, then noticing who it was. "Sam" The Doctor was obviously trying to sound enthusiastic, but it was clear he wasn't as his face had dropped slightly. Clara threw him a death glare telling him to be polite and he straightened his bow-tie to tell her he would be.

"Doctor." Sam nodded to him politely. "So, you and Clara are having a baby?"

"Yeah." The Doctor smiled. "Yeah, she's six months on and stubborn as hell, refusing to take leave."

"I don't need to take it!" Clara moaned at him. "I can still work fine!" She pouted at him over-dramatically, causing Sam to giggle quietly.

"You working for TARDIS again?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. I taught for a bit but it didn't really work out." She mumbled. "I re-applied for the job."

The Doctor cuffed and Clara raised her eyebrows to him. "You mean you walked into my office and begged for it."

"I did not beg!" Clara opened her mouth in fake shock.

"Oh you so did!"

"Actually, if I remember correctly, you forced me to take it. Rose came in asking me to come back and you told me I was, before I'd even asked!"

"Oh yeah, you did." The Doctor smirked and Clara slapped his arm playfully as he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss on the head.

"I was worried you were about to have a domestic just then." Sam laughed and Clara did too.

"It's all his fault." Clara stated cheekily.

Before the Doctor could reply, Sam interrupted. "It's lovely to see you both but I best be off. Have to get to work, you know. Then home."

"Do you...have anyone?" Clara asked gently. She wanted to make sure he was happy as he did still mean a lot to her.

"Yeah, the fiancée. She's called Kate. We've just bought a house out of London."

"Really? So have we!" The Doctor chirped. "Better for the baby, you know."

Sam nodded in agreement. Clara then wrapped her arms around Sam in a friendly way.

"I wish you all the best." She said into his ear.

"You too Clara. I hope you have a beautiful little 'un here." She pulled away from him and smiled.

"Bye." She whispered. He nodded politely in response and left.

Clara looked down at her feet once he'd gone and folded her arms.

"Clara?" The Doctor asked, putting one hand on her shoulder. "Are you ok?"

Clara nodded once and then again to confirm it. She turned around to face him and put her arms around his neck. "Yeah. I just feel like he didn't deserve it, you know?"

The Doctor kissed her and shook his head. "It's in the past now Clara. No need to feel guilty. Besides, it takes two to tango."

"That it does."

After seven long hours of labour, Clara finally gave birth to a baby girl.

The Doctor handed her over to Clara in a blanket once she'd been cleaned up.

"Hello Bella," she whispered, running a finger over the tiny girl's nose. The before-crying child stopped at the feel of her Mother. She looked up to Clara and reached out her small arm towards her.

Clara lifted her hand too and Bella grabbed her finger and squeezed it tightly. She choked out a teary laugh and so did the Doctor.

"She knows it's you." He whispered, tears building up in his eyes.

"She can sense you too." Clara replied. He leant over to Bella and kissed her forehead. As his head was there, Bella touched his face and he'd never been happier in his life. He kissed Clara continuously.

"I'm so proud of you, I love you so much Clara." He chanted over and over again to confirm it, whilst pouring his love into a kiss.

She wanted that moment to last forever. The first few moments of them all being a family. This was the beginning of a brand new adventure.


End file.
